Yayoi Kusama

I’m here but nothing

Yayoi Kusama began hallucinating spots atop the surfaces of her world at a young age. In these polka dots, at once simple and boundless, Kusama found a way to break from the self and look into infinity.



Painted Eyebrow Trends in Tang Dynasty

This is a chart showing different eyebrow trends in the Tang Dynasty. It’s based on a chart in Chinese Clothing by Hua Mei and Gao Chunming (2004), on pg 37. I wanted to create a chart that had the eyebrows on faces.

Interesting notes

"Women of the Tang Dynasty paid particular attention to facial appearance, and the application of powder or even rouge was common practice. Some women’s foreheads were painted dark yellow and the dai (a kind of dark blue pigment) was used to paint their eyebrows into different shapes that were called dai mei(painted eyebrows) in general. There were literally a dozen ways to pait the eyebrows and between the brows there was a colourful decoration called hua dian, which was made of specks of gold, silver and emerald feather.” (5000 Years of Chinese Costume, 77)

"…during the years of Yuanho in the reign of Xuanzong the system of costumes changed, and women no longer applied red powder to their faces; instead, they used only black ointment for their lips and made their eyebrows like like the Chinese character ‘’." (5000 Years of Chinese Costume, 77)

The black lipstick style “was called the ‘weeping makeup’ or ‘tears makeup’.” (Chinese Clothing by Hua Mei, 37)


As of late

My heart has never hurt so much.

Been really really loving percussion. I’m always just like wahhhhwowyamazed. Yiann Yiann is teaching me the Drummies. Seriously, a dream come true.

Love biking. And I keep dreaming of boarding. This should definitely become a thing.

Baking and cooking. Feeling the strongest I’ve ever felt consistently in the past five or so years. Finally have the strength and drive to be making some yums in the kitchen. Note to future self, KITCHEN ISLAND.

Loving you now, typed out prayers, and radiohead

It’s hard to love you
I feel my pride breaking breaking breaking
And it hurts to love someone who seems to love you with condition
I see the good and the kindness
And it’s always been present
But now it’s been flooded with years of harbored bitterness
Why don’t you just want to know me?
Your love shows through your actions, yes
But what about the action to change when things are not ideal
When the other is being hurt by your actions?
But i know it goes both ways…
How can I love without condition?
It is so ridiculously painful to me
I want to love you even if you never changed
I want to love you now

During my lunch break today I was praying. I got Indian food and finished my meal, and just sat in the restaurant typing away on my iPhone. I like praying via written words. I’m not sure why, but it helps solidify the things I think and say to God. I asked him a lot of things that I’ve been to afraid to ask. One of them being, where do you draw the line between loving someone selflessly and guarding your heart? Can you? I’ll let you know when he answers and teaches me these things.

I’ve been listening to a lot of music lately and it’s been life changing. Radiohead… I watched one of their music videos today at work. It was shot beautifully in black and white and featured some crazy contemporary modern dance. Crazy as in crazy. I don’t know why I liked it so much. Honest expressions are what I appreciate. That and the search.


Are sweet. I learn a lot about God’s heart for me through them. A lot about what it means to persevere, commit, pursue, plan, love, act, and do. Heh. I seem to make close friends with dreamers and doers, Planners and go getters. I love them, who they are. They are good to me. I am always pleasantly surprised when friends share their hearts and minds with me. I am honored to have the friends I have.

On the other hand is harder… Sweet in a freeing way. There are no need for masks. I can be the messiest, self absorbed, piece of work and would not be ashamed in front of them. In some ways they let me express myself. But I feel restricted in many when they are not able to see my person or growth. From them I learn responsibility, sacrifice, and fun.