Processing

http://lydiabaik.com/

sometimes it is better to hear static from your headphones muffle the sounds of mom and dad fighting. it’s just enough to blur out the details but still have a gist of what is going on. how they have been fighting over the damn refrigerator for the past decade is quite baffling. they’re both right you know… mom cooks and cleans for us and it’s quite nice of her to do so. but she gets selfish and all blamey on days when she doesn’t want to, acting like an ice queen. blech. she is not very good at organizing foods either. that’s why dad gets mad about the fridge. he’s right about that. but he seldom thanks her for the meals she does provide or offers her a helping hand without any rude remarks. sometimes i feel like i’m the oldest child and the parent of my family. hahaha but that’s my pride speakin’ 

i’ve been drawing everyday. it’s so hard! haha. but i feel my fear breaking more and more each time that i do. and i really enjoy it! somewhere in me, i know there is an illustrator of some sort. i mean.. i’m still like on the brink of fully believing in this dream of mine. but people see it in me. and that always catches me off guard. but it’s exciting to know that there’s this part of me that has yet to be fully discovered and expressed.

i’m so so so thankful for my place of work and all the people in it. i learn so much everyday. it is literally like second college on crack to me. i’ll just learn so much from ali and matt, in the matter of seconds. it’s great. i feel my organizational skills becoming stronger… even though they still are very weak haha. my illustrative hand becoming bolder. my technical photoshop abilities especially with things concerning lighting and shadowing are improving too. 

europe 2015. here i come. i started budgeting today. i’m so stokeddddd to save up! europe with eimi?! a place of so much historyyyY!!!!!! iaoshdaoishdasd. I AM HISTORY NUTTTTTTT. I SHALL STUDY ALL THE HISTORIES. AND THEN EXPERIENCE THE REMNANTS. MUWAHAH. gotta make the bank!

DRIVINGGGGG. i have failed 6 times and still counting. but i am glad. i am so humbled these days. and i don’t mind it like i used to. i’ve learned the values of practice and intentionality. it’s crazy how i couldn’t see it before! i mean, i knew it as head knowledge, but mannn, the discipline was just never there. it’s something my family lacks in. but it’s okay. because from here we can only move forward, so long as we remain humbled and persevere. along this painfully humbling journey, i have learned some forever safety lessons. i have settled year long disputes with my parents. it has been worth the breaking of pride. and the breaking of fear. and the learning of patience and practice and lots of other things too. but come on, it’s almost october!! 

ahh my heart! lol. i think of you from time to time and lots of times in between too. music does it for me. but so does like a lot of things i just enjoy haha. the conclusions i’ve come to are pretty much how it all began. i think you’re awesome. and i’d like to have more of you in my life. sounds so simple in theory. too simple? meh! 

monday wednesday workouts!! yeahh i be reppin them 5 pounders. 

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:)

it’s good to feel

it is good to allow yourself to feel

it is human to feel

but it is best to abandon the feelings if need be

if the truth calls for it

for truth is greater than the feeling of fear

or the feeling of love

for love is greater than the feeling of love

or the feeling of the absence of love

i am such a feeler

feel feel feels

like everyday

but now i am learning

to be an advocate

a believer

of truth

i feel discouraged

and alone a lot these days

but this is what i know

and hold as truth…

that i am not alone

that i am surrounded by god’s providence

protection

kindness

and truth

that i am his beloved

i am an important part of his plans

that i have his heart

and that he promises to never abandon or forsake me

i refuse to sulk any longer

but i am not alone

no i am not alone

Things/characteristics I want to be/ am/ am becoming

Jeweler
Business woman
Art director
Photographer
Film director
Speaker
Artist
Writer
Performer
Sharer?
Mommy
Auntie
Wifey
Teacher
Planner
Cook
Good Friend
Daughter
Sister

Relevant
Honest/truthful
Sincere
Seeking
Unashamed
Unafraid
Bold
Loyal
Faithful
Kind
Tender
Knowing
Wise
Determined
Free
Uninhibited
Fun
Delightful
Joyful
Understanding
Patient
Persevering
Rational
Crazy
Trouble Maker
Good
Strong
Impactful
Raw
Everlasting
Intrigued
Alive

lydiabaik:

eimi12345:

i really miss painting.
a whole lot.

eimi is wonderful

and is still wonderful
hey eimi-pronounced-amy
here’s a random reminder
of where and who you used to be
here’s to your past
today
and tomorrow
and the many many days after that
w love!
<3

lydiabaik:

eimi12345:

i really miss painting.

a whole lot.

eimi is wonderful

and is still wonderful

hey eimi-pronounced-amy

here’s a random reminder

of where and who you used to be

here’s to your past

today

and tomorrow

and the many many days after that

w love!

<3

“To abstain from enjoyment which is in our power, or to seek distant rather than immediate results, are among the most painful exertions of the human will.”

– N.W. Senior